What to do When You’re Waiting … and …

Waiting.  Here’s how you do it:

(1)  Go to the store, aimlessly walk the aisles.  Pick up a bag of potato chips, open the bag, stand in the aisle and eat one chip, put the bag in your cart.  Pay for it.  Throw the bag away on your way out.

(2) Lay on the living room floor with your dogs.  Consider shaving their hair off because it’s too hot in Phoenix to lay with hairy dogs.

(3) Stand in front of the thermostat.  Curse it for it’s inattentiveness to your needs.

(4) Wander.  Mutter.  Look at yourself in a magnifying mirror to see if you’ve gotten any new wrinkles.  You find one.  Mutter about it.  Wander again.

(5) Answer the phone.  Hello.  Have you heard anything yet?  No?  Okay.  Call me when you hear.

(6) Go back to the grocery store.  Buy another bag of chips.  This time, eat them all.  On your way home, wonder if Twinkies and Ripple still taste good together.

(7)  Stand in front of the phone.  Wait.  Wait.  Damnit, wait.


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