I wanted to crawl into bed with him
But I couldn’t figure out the guard rail.
Just one last time I wanted to lie with him
Tell him how he was loved
Tell him to be brave.
But there was that damned guard rail
And my fear
That kept my mouth from asking …
Asking how the hell to move it …
I just wanted … he just needed …
We needed each other, maybe.
I wanted to help him sit up,
Swallow down the fluids bubbling
Up from his swelling lungs.
I could have done that
But for the guard rail.
What the hell did he need guarding from?
He was within moments of moving
A cat wandered across the patio just outside
Then he died.
And the guard rail stayed,
And I stayed,
And he left.
And there’s still a fence between
Ohhh, Auburn, this is so tender and so true. I am sorry. But I am heartened that you are sharing your experience. Thank you.