Me: Do you remember Underwear Boy?
Dan: The one in the tidy whities that we could see through our bedroom window? Yeah, why?
Me: We need curtains.
Dan: We have shades.
Me: I know, but we still need curtains. What if I want to walk through the house in my underwear?
Dan: No one will care.
Me: I don’t want anyone to call me Underwear Girl.
Dan: Then sew some curtains. Didn’t I just buy you a killer sewing machine?
Me: Yeah, but now I need to buy the material.
Dan: Buy the material.
Me: You mean it?
Dan: Yeah, Underwear Girl. Buy the material. But make it see-through. That makes me wild.
Me: (beating my chest in my best Tarzan voice) Yaaah-eeeh-yaah-eeeh-yaah. Tarzan go golf. Jane go shopping.