Me: Do you remember Underwear Boy?

Dan: The one in the tidy whities that we could see through our bedroom window? Yeah, why?

Me: We need curtains.

Dan: We have shades.

Me: I know, but we still need curtains. What if I want to walk through the house in my underwear?

Dan: No one will care.

Me: I don’t want anyone to call me Underwear Girl.

Dan: Then sew some curtains. Didn’t I just buy you a killer sewing machine?

Me: Yeah, but now I need to buy the material.

Dan: Buy the material.

Me: You mean it?

Dan: Yeah, Underwear Girl. Buy the material. But make it see-through. That makes me wild.

Me: (beating my chest in my best Tarzan voice) Yaaah-eeeh-yaah-eeeh-yaah. Tarzan go golf. Jane go shopping.

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