We seem to be in a season of broken things here at the Bloggybirdery. Yes, poor old DancingBirds is experiencing brokenness. Shatterings. Stoppages. Things that squeak and blurp and fall and stain.
We’re coming apart at the seams.
We just might be experiencing Karma-ization, although for the life of me, I don’t know what Dan, me, Scarlett and Wilson the dogs or Laverne the cat might have done to deserve the Universe’s wrath upon our little selves. Nevertheless, our moat has been breached. The dragon who once was happy to keep us safe from any and all interlopers has apparently flown off with some floozy.
Let me enumerate our recent catastrophes, in no particular order of importance of befalling upon our heads:
- Pool pump slurps its last slurp.
- Pool filter falls over in a dead heap.
- Pool heater rears its ugly head like Putin over Palin’s porch.
- Two amazingly gorgeous mirrors arrive … in shards of pointy glass and disappointment.
- Moving the giant fake ficus in the master bedroom reveals a carpet stain the size of Rhode Island.
- New tile grout in the master bath, of which installer insists is sealed against stains, turns black.
- Our beloved renter reveals that people call her Typhoid Mary because everything breaks around her. I’m just sayin’.
- Two more amazingly gorgeous mirrors arrive … one broken, one shaking in fear that it’s next.
- Glass seems no longer safe in our house as we break two, again amazingly gorgeous, glass rod finials while hanging family room drapes.
- Three toilets decide to bedevil us by running, leaking and stopping-up.
- Two sinks forget how their stoppers work.
- Two adults, two dogs and one cat now cower in fear of what might next break. Please not the food bowls, we intone. Anything but the food bowls.
Our encounters with all this silliness will soon end. I know that. My theory is that we have seasons of good and seasons when everything falls out of the sky. This just happens to be our time of falling stars and disappointments. It will soon end.
In the meantime, I listen to my dear Dan who only notices whether his putt falls into the cup or not.
For many of the problems stated, I would suggest that perhaps the warranties have at last run out! Somewhere in the Universe, there has to be an entity that monitors warranties and guarantees, and as they expire, send whatever forces he/she/it can muster to do their best/worst.
Other than that, it sounds like a fairly typical week at work!
That’s perfect, Dave. I love your theory and shall adopt it from now on. Yes, it would seem that all our warranties have expired simultaneously, including the mirror warranty that we didn’t even know we had. I’d say we ought to put in a good word for one another. Perhaps your influence might carry some weight with the Grand Warranty Entity.
Until the toilets were replaced in the ladies locker rooms, our lady janitor could count on having to unplug one or two whenever certain individuals showed up! Kind of like the scene in FARENHEIT 451 when the boy sez, “look, a fire engine! There’s going to be a fire!”
That’s hilarious, Dave. Thanks so much for some Sunday afternoon laughter.
We were tempted to post signs saying: “Flush after every two rolls of toilet paper!”