I’d like to know who took my Wilson. It’s okay to come clean with me. I promise I’m not litiginous. But I want to know … WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY WILSON?
The last I know, I trotted my dear dog into the groomer’s yesterday. “He’s got a couple of little matting places next to his nose,” I confessed. “I’ll pay extra to have you ease them out,” I offered.
Two and a half hours later, I came back to claim my dog and they presented me with a LAMB instead. A poofy, top-knotted, ear-shaved LAMB. I calmed myself. “Okaaaay,” I said in my best oh dear! voice. “What happened to his ears?”
Groomer: I had to shave them.
Me: I see that. Can you explain?
Groomer: Well, they were matted.
Me: No. It was his NOSE that had a teensy little matted spot.
Groomer: Oh. Well, he looks good doesn’t he?
Me: This is so not a Labradoodle cut. You made him look like a … a … FOOFY DOG. He looks like a lamb!
Groomer: Well, his ears will grow back if you don’t like it. In the meantime, I’d suggest you put sunblock on them because they don’t have any hair and he’ll burn in the sun.
So, the good news? Wilson’s classmates in Puppy Class think he’s a rock star. And now he keeps trying to mount poor Scarlett the Retriever to show how studly he is without ear hair.
The bad news? He still looks like a lamb and Dan’s wondering why we got charged eighty dollars for someone else’s dog.